What should I do about Coworkers Psycho and possibly violent boyfriend involving others at work in their probs
I work in a small place with about 7 people including myself. One of my coworkers has a boyfriend who is currently seeking psychiatric help. However he is always accusing her of lying cheating and God knows what else. He calls her daily minimum 20 times. She doesn’t want to leave him and they are moving in together soon. He makes her miserable she cries and yells at him here at work on the phone. My husband works here with us and he speaks to her more than I do. Now this guy is calling up here saying that my husband and her are together and that she’s doing other people in the office. And none of this stuff is going on to the best of my knowledge. This guy is a ticking time bomb. Our boss has prohibited him from coming on the premises after he came here once and yelled at her in front of customers. He’s threatened suicide and told other coworkers I’ll end this today. We like her as a worker but this could get out of hand. Any Suggestions?
January 17th, 2011 at 2:37 pm
you need to let it be known this guy is threating your entire office saftey, people snap and i know you dont want to get hurt cause of her problems
January 17th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
Yes, stay out of it!! I know that you are a good person to want to help but some people like to live that kind of controlling life and no matter how you try to help she will stay with him until she is ready to leave. It also sounds like when people get involved it gets worse so hope for the best and just leave it alone.
January 17th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Please, Please, Please contact the police in your area and le them know about the situation. They will be better able to advise you of the steps to take. My best friends ex-husband came to our work and threatened me. (she was staying at my house during the divorce) I wish I had called the police because he caught me in the employee parking lot and tried to assault me. Luckily a loading dock buddy of mine was taking a smoke break in his car and intervened before I got more than really, really scared. At least if the police know there is an unstable person threatening to come end it all at your work, they will be more likely to respond should they have to come to the premises.
January 17th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
It may be time to involve the police. As nice a person as she may be, there’s absolutely no reason why any of you should have to deal with another’s personal problems. At the very least, it’s unprofessional; an worst, if this man *truly* believes that she is cheating with a coworker or that one of you is “withholding information” and “helping” her cheat, he could turn violent on that person.
Point is whatever choices she makes are her own but you deserve to work in a safe enviornment… Don’t become another statistic.
Keeping you in my thoughts
Good Luck!
~Marielle~
January 17th, 2011 at 5:17 pm
speak with you boss and let him know that more needs to be done about this situation. You as an employee have a right to a calm and safe work place. If he does not take further action and you still feel unsafe contact the better business bureau
January 17th, 2011 at 6:15 pm
My advice is for you all to get together with your co-worker and hash this problem out. Ask your boss if you can take time off from work to have a meeting about this or sacrifice your lunch hour for it.
In my opinion, there is more going on here than you are aware of. This behaviour is typical of people who are using mephetamines, for example. Her boyfriend is either not taking his prescribed medications, or is using other types of drugs. You are very right to be concerned and my first thoughts here are three things: a. Get her out of your office (is there any stress leave available?) or b. Get him out of her life (and yours), or c. Get her out of his life. Set her up with a transistion house that helps women who are victims of spousal violence. Many of them offer help up to and including getting the woman out of state to protect her from a violent partner.
Other possibilities include her talking to his parents or other family members to find out if he has a history of this sort of behaviour? Perhaps they could help her get him into a treatment program of some kind. Drug rehabilitation programs spring to mind here.
You can also contact your local police office and explain the problem. They can find out for you whether he has a history of prior convictions for violent acts. If he does and you inform your co-worker, it may be an eye-opener for her. If she decides to leave him, you could all kick in some money to help her get away. She won’t be able to continue at the office because he can always find her there no matter where she lives. The police may also be able to offer more advice as to what all of you can do about this situation.
If you can’t do any of this things, set up a safety drill for yourselves. Make sure you all know what to do if he turns up at your workplace in order to get out of there safely and contact help. Be on the alert for him at all times. You must take this very seriously. People who get in the way can wind up dead when someone like this goes on a rampage. He might very well decide to take a few people with him before he commits suicide.