How do you go from loving someone to loathing them?
This is not the typical question– read carefully–
Let’s say you have been with a person for a few years, and they’ve been generally a pretty good partner. Of course, there have been some fights, but there has not really been any abuse or anything. How does a person go from being in love to hating that person, while still in the same relationship? Is it perhaps frustration of being with the same partner too long? Thoughts?
March 7th, 2011 at 5:23 pm
i wouldn’t say being with them too long. i would almost say you need to add things to your life that you have never done before. if your single and bored in life what do you do? you change something to make it more exciting. same goes with relationships except you have your best friend beside you the whole way. make sense?
March 7th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I think loathing is the wrong word, perhaps resenting would be a better one. Sometimes people fall out of love, and feel trapped in a relationship whether from feeling trapped or out of comfort, etc. They become unhappy and start projecting the reason for their unhappiness onto their partner.
March 7th, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I think your problem has little to do with your spouse and more to do with you. Maybe you are having a midlife crisis? The need to do something new? Maybe your partner is not supportive of your trying new things?
We can sit online and speculate as to the reasoning behind it, but only you truly know.
Most people go thru periods with their spouses where there are more and less feelings then in the beginning. Try to talk to your partner about your needs. Also, seek counceling. Try to reconnect.
7 year itch time. . .
March 7th, 2011 at 7:41 pm
It happened to me. 26 years, He was a challenging person to be married to but I loved him enough to put up with his quirkier ways,
it was when I realized that his life was all lies. And the kids knew he was lying and why didn’t I?
I loved him. I remember the moment when the love was gone. and I never got it back.
I do loath him. I gave up years of my life to be part of his reality which is not real. I was so trusting. So loving.
He changed me. His actions ripped apart many people. And he keeps on creating his own reality.
Which is the furthest thing from reality. My son committed suicide because of his dad. I will always be damaged emotionally by this man. But, I also believe in a world of new beginnings.
New hope, new love, new joy.
March 7th, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Familiarity often breeds contempt, yes.