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What is the most important thing to remember about rewards and punishments?

What do you feel is the most important thing to remember about rewards and punishments, and how these affect kids (and parents)?

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10 Responses to “What is the most important thing to remember about rewards and punishments?”

  1. ajkep said :

    I think it’s best to reward in public, and punish in private. I hate seeing my BIL’s kids point and laugh at my sons when they get into trouble. On the other hand, they feel sooooo good when they are rewarded and other people see it too!

  2. Robert B said :

    Consistency, if you are not consistent it’s a total waste of time to start because it causes confusion and mistrust..

  3. Velken said :

    Don’t punish in anger, don’t reward to bribe. Neither one helps the child learn correctly.

  4. dueinoctwith#3 said :

    Rewards and discipline….well they need to be consistant and children should be rewarded for little things, parents shouldn’t wait for the big things before giving rewards, rewards the process and the small details leading up to the big thing you want accomplished. As for discipline it should be a time for thinking and learning and calming down time for both parent(s) and child. Punishments are negative and harmful

  5. amber m said :

    With punishment, I feel it is most important to make sure the child knows that you still love them. It is their behavior you disapprove of, not them.

  6. tishee_76 said :

    To be consistant with both and follow through with both, theres nothing worse than having no authority, rightousness or honesty in your parenting..

  7. James Bond said :

    You need to make sure that you are doing both for the right reasons. Don’t reward for everything so they expect it all the time and don’t punish for everything (pick your battles) so they don’t feel down on themselves all the time. It’s a balance that must be found and must also be consistent so they learn boundaries.

  8. Lady Elle said :

    Not everyone gets rewarded and not everyone gets punished. A lot of parents have good intentions when rewarding their children, but not every good thing their child does is going to be rewarded just like every not so good thing they do is going to be punished. Some people like to emphasize one more than the other and thats not so good. I feel that its important that parents actual explain these two terms to their children as far as what they are and what are the differences.

  9. dancesportdiva said :

    The most important thing is that the child values the reward and actually tries to avoid the punishment. If neither of these apply then it won’t work. You have to do it for the child’s sake, not because YOU think it should work.

  10. Ambizzle said :

    I agree with the previous posters who said consistency. Also, make sure both parents are on the same page, even if they aren’t together anymore.


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