How do you prevent from comparing your life to others?
I constantly compare my life to other intact families. I feel bad because I am divorced and do not have a complete family. I see only the bad points of my life and the good points of theirs.
Its so hard because when you are divorced you have to struggle for everything yourself.
When you are part of a family, your life is also more structured, you go on family vacations and can visit other families.
March 22nd, 2011 at 2:15 pm
its normal to compare your life with ther peoples, you just have to look at what you do have and be greatfull for it as there are always people much worse off than yourself x
March 22nd, 2011 at 2:35 pm
If you’re not happy with your life….change it!
Meet someone and have the family life you want.
March 22nd, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I used to be the same way. BUT… I have a job where I’m involved with lots of individuals, families, couples, that I have now worked with for 11 years. I meet a lot of couples that have money, beautiful houses, shiny cars, the perfect children, etc. Then as the years go by I learn what they deal with INSIDE their closed doors. Financial turmoil, drugs, infidelity, abuse (mental or physical), jealousy, their children getting into trouble, etc…
Just remember NOBODY’S life is perfect all around. We all have problems and insecurities. And more than half of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Surround yourself with positive people, good friends, be the best parent you can be if you have children. In the end people will compare themselves to YOU, a happy, strong individual who can come out on top in any situation.
March 22nd, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Get some counselling.
Divorce doesn’t mean you’re not a family, nor does it mean you can’t go on vacations or visit with families.
I’ve been divorced. My kids still viewed our unit as a family – in fact, they had two families! We still took vacations and visited. Yes, we struggled a bit, but life itself is a struggle..
It sounds as though you’re having a hard time letting go of the dream (of a perfect little marriage with the white picket fence). Don’t continue to suffer – a counsellor can help.
March 22nd, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Did you think you did not make the right decision? You did! Now go visit a few few friends and family to spend some time with them. Life is what you make of it. You can find all sorts of people giving away stuff you would like to have and learn what you do not really need. Quit looking at life like it is against you and start looking at how you are moving forward. Do some things for fun and let some unimportant things go. Just learn to go out and do things that are fun. They do not have to cost alot. Walks in the park and other activities in near by places.
rd
March 22nd, 2011 at 4:36 pm
You don’t know what is going on behind closed doors… that woman you think has the perfect life may be dealing with a philandering husband that abuses her, may be taking verbal or physical abuse, may be mopping up financial abuse, or may be feeling sick from stress.
Don’t get hung up in appearances.
The best you can do is deal with what you have and don’t get hung up about anything. You will hopefully only have your daughter for another 2 years, then you are FREE.
You need to get out there and meet some people. There are professional organizations you can network, and there are hobby or interest based groups on http://www.meetup.com (they list by proximity to your zip code). Get out there and meet some adults to talk to.
This bit about not visiting other families unless you have a family to haul with you is pure nonsense. You are a friend visiting a friend, and possibly partaking of their family life and hospitality.
March 22nd, 2011 at 5:21 pm
You are only seeing the outside, you are not privy to their problems and trials. You are the only person who can control your thought processes. If you are unhappy with yourself and your present situation you need to decide what will make you happy and make a plan to attain that. I would suggest volunteering at shelters (the homeless shelter, an animal shelter, a hospice). You will see that there are many others who have less and are often happier and content or at least at peace. We don’t have to have “perfect” lives to be content with our lives. If you have a roof over your head, a job, decent health and the love of family and some friends then you should have more than enough to be thankful for. I often thank God throughout the day for the little things, like being the first in line at the bank on a day when I’m rush, having a safe ride into work, the birds singing outside my windows in the morning, my kids not bickering for a hour or two! And I always say “there but by the grace of God go I” if I see an ambulance go by on its way to the hospital or an automobile accident, because it truly could be me or a family member! Good luck and God Bless