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How do I get my husband to be more aggressive in bed?

I have asked my husband to be more aggressive and take more initiative but I don’t think he knows how. I want him to come on to me and be more dominate. Our sex life is just getting boring. What can I do to spice it up?
We have only been married a year and a half and he has never really “come on to me” I just want him to be more into our sex life not just in it to “get off”. He isn’t a shy person other wise but I feel like he is so immature in his love making. Maybe it’s just me maybe he just doesn’t want to have sex with me? How do I find out?

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21 Responses to “How do I get my husband to be more aggressive in bed?”

  1. lola said:

    watch some porn with an example of how you want him to be.

  2. StrangeR to lovE said:

    tells him that if he won’t be aggressive you won’t let him watch sports on TV !

  3. Hybrid Moments said:

    If you want him to be aggressive try making him angry and then after he slaps you tell him that it turned you on.

  4. T, ya wanna? said:

    If you find out, please let me know. I will be watching this thread for some suggestions as I have that problem too! Good luck (for you and I both!)

  5. Raven said:

    try a little dirty talking or role play

  6. Darin T said:

    hate to say this but he may not find you attractive anymore, maybe he is going to strip clubs or cheating.
    lol I know the truth hurts.

  7. Babygirl19 said:

    show him that is what i did

  8. nini iz a bunny! said:

    pin him down on the bed and take it from there ^__^

  9. kaysgirl63 said:

    be a little aggressive toward him

  10. Brittany said:

    If he doesnt know how to be more aggressive, then show him. Be more aggressive yourself.

  11. daledeloy said:

    Sex toys are always fun. Buy Karma Sutra books too

  12. ItsBitzo said:

    It’s good that you feel comfortable discussing this with your husband. My only suggestion is to explain to him specifically what you’d like him to do. If you’re into really aggressive stuff like the BDSM, then tell him. Whatever it is you like, just explain to him. Instead of just saying “Be more aggressive”, give him a couple specific scenarios you’d like him to do.

  13. sissyh said:

    Start slow. Get some furry pink handcuffs, a book or two about BDSM, and use some open communication. Good luck!

  14. Harry Banana said:

    bring another chick into the bedroom. when he see’s you hot chicks in a 69, he’ll take over from there, he will bang every opening you two have!

  15. Honeypie03232009 said:

    The only way he is going to know what to do is by you telling him what you like. If he doesn’t know then he might just do something that can be a complete Turn Off. Tell him something like through you on the bed, pull your hair, or spank you.

    Good Luck

  16. M said:

    get his neck ties and tie him to the bed and blind fold him and have your way, because I noticed that when they can’t see you they don’t feel so shy and they relax.

  17. PHD Pharmacologist in Finland said:

    I think the best thing to give is positive reinforcement. When he does something you like, tell him so. 🙂 It will make him do it again.

  18. Wisen Smart said:

    Takes two to tango and if he is not willing to try, there won’t be any use. You did not specify how long you have been married and if he ever was aggressive.

    But, please, whatever you do, keep it just between the two of you and don’t let the cancer of porn really finish killing the relationship.

  19. Idolking said:

    Most of the time men tend to gauge their sexual appetite by what appears acceptable to their mate. They tend to think of it like playing poker. “If I overplay my hand and appear too aggressive she may decide to fold (turned off) leaving me with a full hand (if you catch my drift).” Push the limit, or up the ante as they say in poker. Show him that you’d be more than willing to take on more than what he thinks is OK. Other than that, you may have just got involved with an asexual person. if that’s the case then what can I say but get to know your local porn shop.

  20. Jel said:

    My husband gets more aggressive if he hasn’t had an orgasm in a while. Is yours “taking care of business” on the side? perhaps come to an agreement where you both don’t masturbate or have sex for a week. Then, you act all flirty and sexy. When he tries to get you, act hard to get. Push him away playfully. Tease him. Make him earn it. If he doesn’t get rough, he can’t have you.

    Also, get aggressive yourself sometimes. my husband loves it when I push him onto the bed and makes him earn favors.

  21. Spoken Love said:

    First thing you need to do is confront him and be very specific about what it is that you want…..
    You both should take turns in fulfilling each others fantasies even if it means dressing up as the princess laya from star wars….sorry that was a joke at your expense, but seriously I wish you luck


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