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How can I keep from resenting my gf for having an abortion that I do not want?

I understand that it’s her body and, ultimately, her choice. This doesn’t change the fact that the more I think about it, the less crazy I am about her having the abortion. I know it’s just a clump of cells at this point, but I can’t change how I feel. How do I work through this without pushing her away?

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5 Responses to “How can I keep from resenting my gf for having an abortion that I do not want?”

  1. Ms.Socrates said:

    The best way to work through this is together. If you try to deal with this without her, even if that is because you don’t want to hurt her feelings, then you are going to drive a wedge between the two of you. This is a huge decision, and ultimately she is the one making it, but it doesn’t mean that you are not affected by it. It is ok to be upset. It really is. The more you share with her how you feel and you go through the process together the closer it will keep you both.

  2. Sunny said:

    i’m so sorry she is going to murder your precious baby. that is so sad. 🙁 i wouldn’t be able to be with someone who doesn’t have a heart.

  3. jimmaresa said:

    Hey, Jack!
    You have been fed a bunch of crap! Yes, it is her body, but it is your child equally to hers. As far as a clump of cells, do you know how far along she is? 12 days and the heart is beating. End of one month and the brain starts working. Clump of cells?

    Are you totally sure that this is your child? Crazy question, but why did you allow this to go so far. You did not know her well enough to find out now that she want to suck your child into a sink and into the garbage. If you are the kind of person who draws a line and can say here, at this exact time and day, we have a human being, your child, what is it 10 seconds sooner? 10 minutes sooner?
    Yes, there is that debate on exactly when a human is formed but do you see how far we have gone down that slippery slope? We turn a baby around backwards at 9 months and as long as the head is not out, we can justify jabbing a tube into the brain and sucking the brains out. Where indeed do we draw the line? By the way, this is a line of convenience”…just because I don’t want it.” That is a load of crap! You want to head there? You are not ready for fatherhood; you just donate the sperm. Jack! You are better than that. Use your testicles and stand up for what is the right thing to do!

  4. ImDer said:

    Give her assurance that you will be there for the baby.
    She might be having insecurities or she might be scared about her life at this point, or may be she is feeling all alone. Talk to her calmly and try to understand her and try to address all her fears.

    Educate her about the Post Abortion Syndrome ( depression,guilt, loss and anger …) that might occur to her. Bring your and her family elders into the picture to make her understand that everybody will support and take care of the baby and her.

    Be a good husband/boyfriend and a good father. Take care of her. I hope she understands.

  5. Daver said:

    < >

    I don’t know.

    < >

    The unborn is it’s own body, NOT “her body”.

    < how I feel.>>

    So your resentment is having less and less to do with the unborn baby dying. This really has more to do with your bruised ego!

    < >

    Start by not being so “all about yourself”. Be less self-centered.


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